mál

When in Poland...

Well, the best blogs (according to people that do the uncomfortable thing of talking to me in person) on this site are the travel stories I have, in part because traveling is interesting but also because I normally manage to screw them up in some catastrophical manner (who cares about spelling).
This time the travel plan was, like usually in 3 legs, Jakarta-Abu Dhabi, Abu Dhabi-Gatwick, Luton-Warsaw. But to start my story I must go back to tuesday almost two weeks ago (yep, it is one of the long bastards... you better brew some coffee or open that whiskey bottle), my ticket was booked on monday the 21st but my visa expired on the 17th so after geting required documents I, accompanied by Grace (the president of AIESEC Indonesia), went to the immigration office, it is probably a lovely office although at that time there was about 1000 people in there and there was no aircondition, only fans (just for a frame of reference, I am born in a town in Iceland that now has the population of 300). Indonesia loves there beurocratic system, it gives them more jobs, one person gives you a paper, another person receives the paper, the third charges for the paper, the fourth gives you a folder which you give to the fifth person, which stamps it and gives it to the sixth person. In my dictionary this is inefficient (then again my dictionary is a bit blurry as can be seen by my spelling) but would be all right if they would sit next to each other and you would work your way as in an assembly line, but no!! you go back and forth, up and down, all around (wow, it rimes!!) and finally we were told, thank you, it will be ready on tuesday next week... we were shocked... the problem was that I was leaving on monday and I needed my passport back before that, the extension process should only be two days but this guy said it would be ready in 7 days, and here is the explaination: on the thursday there would be the independence day of indonesia so they also gave friday of since they didn't think it would be worth coming back to work for one day, then the weekend comes, and since they had 4 days holliday already, why not give the monday off as well??? So in short (not my strong side), there was a 5 days holliday because of this day... but the guy suggested a solution, if we would show up on wednesday morning and bribe a guy there he might be able to take it through the system in one day, oops did I say bribe... I meant, paying an extra money. We did that, showed up at opening the next day (wednesday for those of you still not totally lost in the timeline), but the guy there had obviously not had any sex with his wife or his numerous girlfriends (government guys always have a wife and 2-5 girlfriends) for weeks, or even years because he just stared into infinity and declined everything we said, even when we asked if they were supposed to be there to help he declined, what a great customer strategy that is. I asked what I should then do, but again he declined, you may wonder how he can decline a question, I am stilll wondering, he didn't say, I don't care or not my problem, he simply shook his head and said no. So we found a taxi and were going to the office but on our way back home we got stopped by the police because the driver was going the wrong way and he had to take a funny curve in the middle of an intersection, so the driver had to bribe the police officer for not giving him a fine, oops, did I say bribe, I meant, pay him a little money to avoid getting a big fine.
Well, as I am a very optimistic (some people say careless or disorganized, but I prefer optimistic), I decided to not bother about it, let the visa expire and see what happens. Went to Bandung (another city in Indonesia for those of you lacking any deduction ability) on wednesday evening and staid untill friday, I could write about a great stay there, but lets stick to things relevant to the trip.
On monday (21st) around lunch I took a taxi to a bus stop where the airport bus leaves from, there I got harrased by so many taxi drivers really hopeful that I would come with them for 5,5 dollars when the bus is 1,5 dollars, I told them in a very polite Icelandic way (translation: fuck of, leave me alone) that I was not interested in their expensive service, after I broke from the group that had surrounded me at that time a man approached me, I looked at him and he smiled and asked, taxi, sir, taxi. He obviously thought that despite declining the other 12 guys I really wanted to take taxi, it had only been a fluke that I had denied all the others, you got to admire such a positive believe.
As the bus took off I began wondering if I was going to the right airport, apparently there are two airports in Jakarta and I hadn't checked which one I was going through. Thankfully I found out that it was the right one and I entered the terminal building which looks like a carpet marked in arabic nations (as seen on old movies). Crammed with people, no apparent organization, people shouting and pointing in 10 different languages, the whole spirit of the place almost had me shouting as well, I pointed my finger in the air and opened my mouth before realizing I had no idea what I should shout about, as I stood there with my mouth wide open, intensive look on my face, finger pointing agressively into the air a mosquito flew into my mouth and snapped me back into reality of sweaty travelers trying to make their ways.
My check-in didn't start for another 45 minutes so I decided to get something to eat (although the mosquito was a good and nutricious I wanted a bit more), while I was sitting I was offered a "genuine" rolex watch, belt and perfume (I pointed out to the person that living organisms with penises would not use perfumes) so, in only 45 minutes I had three people offering me some illegal stuff, either I look like a very poor person or a criminal (maybe both).
The check in went good until he saw my visa, he starting looking franticly for an extension because they really don't like arguing or telling people bad news, especially white people, when I told him what had happened he told me that I needed to sort it out before check in, that there was a fine of 20 dollars for each day, but as he had already printed my boarding pass I asked if I could get it and then sort it out he reluctantly agreed and showed me where the immigration office at the airport was. I walked right past it and went to the security thing where they check your visa, stamp your passport etc. he also noticed that it was expired and told me that it would be 80 dollars (4 times 20) I nodded and said, ok, as long as you give me a receit (how the fuck is that spelled?) he started looking very unhappy but then looked at me and said that if I would pay him 50 dollars without the official paper I would get through, I paid him happily and had no shame in bribing an immigration official, oops did I say bribe, I meant, paying him for overlooking the date.
Here comes an interesting thing, asian people (no generalizations there :)) do not know how airplanes and flying work. I have been flying 4 or 5 times in asia and there is always problem with people going to their seats, people do not follow the number on their ticked but just sit wherever they want, so in my seat there was a woman fully covered in a black veil, I ask a stewarrdess where I should sit, she said that that woman and her family should had been in the middle seats, in the middle there were 3 seats and just the seat, right in the middle was free, on both of the sides were arabic guys in the withe thing with the circle thing on their head (oil prince look alikes). When I made it clear that I wanted to sit there they starting to protest to the stewardess which after a short argument in arabic seemed to win because one of the guy stood up to let me in between them. As I sat there they both started laughing, and they laughed for around 15 minutes before starting to inspect this curious little white thing between them. The flight went well except for the annoying fact that the giys were always throwing trash at the floor, getting newspapers and then just throwing them down (and yes into my footspace as well). When I arrived in Abu Dhabi I went straight to the bar, as a true icelander. I knew where it was as I had already been in this airport twice before. There I sat for 5 hours or so listening to German guys discussing pants (well it might have been politics, but my german is bad), the flight to London was nice first I sat next to an arabic woman but her husband made her switch so that he and his son sat next to me and she went sitting in the next row with some other woman, I don't know why, but maybe he realized how sexy I was and didn't want to tempt his wife, who knows. Well as we took off they covered their tv's in their seats but I dug into the movies in the system, managed to watch three of them before landing, brilliant, brilliant.
I landed in Gatwick and realized that I had no idea which aiport I was flying from, and since I hadn't printed out the confirmation I had to find an internet booth to see the e=mailed confirmation which said I was flying from Luton. Took a bus to Luton where I again, like a true Icelander went straight to the bar, which again I knew exactly where was located. I sat there for 8 hours and drank beer, only stood up for getting some of the beer out to be a able to put in more. I don't really remember who sat next to me over to Poland, I fell asleep as soon as I entered the plane (I hope I got the seat first). Now I am in Poland attending the International Congress of AIESEC, I could write something about it but nahhh... I might do it later, who knows.
This is it for now, if you are still reading I am amazed, you either are a good friend or you have really nothing to do now.
Cheers and beers,
Tomas

posted by Tomas @ Monday, August 28, 2006