mál

Organizing my life!

After I got back home from the wonderfull APXDLS it was time to face reality again, and to tell the truth I didn´t quite like what I saw, I am doing way to many things to keep any kind of control over them, I like to think that I am doing fine job in everything I am doing, but fine is not my aim, excellence is and has to be the aim.
I have less than 50 days untill I move for Indonesia for a year, I realized that I had so many unfinished businesses that I could never finish them all if I continued the same way I have been going.
So I decided to see what are the essentials that I absolutely must do before I go out, my first target on the list were finances.
My finances are fucket, I got laughed at in the bank when I said I was moving away for a year, they said it was no way. But after some negotiations we have found a solution but a key factor in that is that I receive my student loan, and to do that, I must pass my classes, which brings us to the second target, school.
My university studies have been remarkable for the fact that I haven´t studied, I know this is what most people say, but my closest friends can verify that I haven´t studied at all, I have never had the books that I am supposed to have, I have never been to more than 5 lectures in a single subject etc. still I got through semester of psychology.
But with the financial doom that hangs over me if I do not receive the student loan, I really must reconsider my study habits and I am forced to not only show up for classes but also do a horrible thing called studying... I know, I know, for some people this sounds as a death announcement of Tómas, but I would like to look at it (maybe just so that I can lie to my self) as a birth of a new Tómas.
When I was 15 years old I took a very conscious decision to strive for excellence from that day onwards and that I was not going to be, avarage, not going to be good, I was going to be excellent in whatever I did, and that I would grab all leadership opportunities that would come my way and strech my abilities in all directions I could possibly see. Year later I was the president of the student council, captain of the debate team, was one of the top 3 students in the class, trained handball, football and even did piano lessons. Since then the ball has not stopped rolling but the problem is that the ball has long ago started running wildly, out of controlle, and no longer rolls in the direction that I set out with, to strive for excellence.
I have been sacraficing my university studies for AIESEC which is wrong, I have been taking on to many diffent councils and boards so now I have no time attending to any of them, and only do what I must do in each of them, and with that strain my time spent in AIESEC is not focused because I am to distracted by all the other stuff on my mind, and also letting internal AIESEC things bother me while I should step above them and leave them behind.
But how to change a thing like this... that was my main problem, and since the day I lost the presidential elections of AIESEC in Iceland, I have been working really hard on finding the path to excellence, creating working and lifestyle habits that lead to excellence. Read and listen to everything I could find about leadership, excellence and succesfull people, because there is a reason why some people succeed while others not.
After all this and with the trip to the Philippines as a turning point, I have formulated a new direction which in short changes what I eat, on what I spend my time, how I spend that time, why I spend it and what I want to get out of it. You can kind of say, that everything you do, be it to speak a word, write a letter, relaxing, sleeping, anything you do must be a step to excellence and improvement of your self, if you are doing something that is not leading to excellence, stop it.
Like eating sugar and drinking sodas... does that lead to excellence... no... so stop it... does unregular sleeping patterns lead to excellence... no... so stop it... does skipping classes and neglecting school lead to excellence... no... so STOP it...
So yes, that were a couple of thought on excellence and how I want to apply it to my life... then the big question is... why am I writing it here, why don´t I just write here, today I went to the countryside, I saw a sheep, it was a brown sheep. The reason is the same as above... does this lead to excellence... yes... how? by writing this down and sharing it with you guys, my friends, the people that matter the most to me in the whole world, I have made this of a much larger committment, so now, if I feel like giving up, I can´t, because then everybody would know I gave up. So, if somebody is still reading, then wow, you are a very patient person, you really care about me or that you have really nothing to do with your time and you should really be doing something else right now.
That´s it for now.

posted by Tomas @ Sunday, April 02, 2006